Soundtrack To The Owls Dilemma

So, our pre-season hopes and dreams crashing around us like a collapsed house of cards: what can we turn to for solace?

Well, we can rip open a can of our favourite beverage, and grab a CD from the shelf.. go on, any one will do as long as you turn it up loud. 'The Best Of The Smiths'.. hmm, are you sure? Well, OK, what's the first song?

'William, It Was Really Nothing'

William.. Billy.. oh, Mr. Sharp, Bramall Lane was probably the best place for you after all, you kept us wondering, didn't you? Your connection with our current boss didn't matter, your lifelong allegiance to the red and white meant you had to do it. And now you've broken your hand. It'll get better I'm sure.. for all of us. Next song..

'Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before'

Last year we were hoping that Scott Carson would come. This year we're hoping that ANYONE will come. At least we got TWO goalkeepers, which let's face it, was important. But it's all very familiar territory, this praying for new signings. Next song..

'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now'

Just two pre-season friendlies ago, all was well, wins and draws under our belt against decent if not spectacular opposition. Signs that some players were really stepping up to the mark.. Wade Small back and firing, nice to have someone in goal who will stay for more than a month. But NOW! Losses to Vale and Oldham, Brunty banned, Burton crocked and likely to be banned too, hordes of strikers running in the other direction when Mr. Laws comes a'calling. Quick, next song!

'I Don't Owe You Anything'

Oh, Mr. Allen, you surely do. You had a three year plan: isn't it time to ignore the fightin' and feudin', swallow your pride one last time, bite the bullet and give Brian Laws the monetary means to do his job. 9th in the Championship.. you don't want that to be your high water mark.. go out in a blaze of glory! Next SONG!

'How Soon Is Now?'

Not soon enough for Owls fans.. we're an impatient lot. We're not scum, or cretins, we just want what's best for our club. Mr. Allen, it's your fault for being so successful last season, you've given us a glimpse of the promised land and we're desperate to go there. We'll follow you.. we will. We'll put aside all our prejudices. Just take us there. Next song..

'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want'

Exactly, that's what I'm saying right now. NEXT SONG!

'A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours'

Because we can do it, I know we can. 70 goals last season, and some of the best football we've seen in ages. Screamers flying into the opposition's net from all angles, wholesale destructions of sub-standard teams.. all we need is the icing on the cake, a couple of QUALITY players to fire us to the top. Next song..

'Money Changes Everything'

You see? How true. Last song..

'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out'

Because we believe in Wednesday, in the best of times and the worst of times, in our heart of hearts, deep down. We could never leave. Support another team? You're joking. Wear another shirt? You're having a laugh. Born an Owl: once an Owl, always an Owl. It feels good just to say it.

'The Best Of The Smiths' cheered me up? Wonders will never cease!